Isaiah 54 is the Lord's Sonnet to
Israel, but as with most Old Testament writings, there are applications for
God's modern Lady, the Church, and personal applications for individual
believers.
6The Lord will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and
distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your
God.
This verse hit home like a ball of
lead in my stomach. I married young. I thought it would be forever. I had no
plan B. I was a wife and mother. That’s it. Oh sure, I took some classes and
worked here and there, but my life was my family and my family was my life.
This was my identity. This was my future. This was the beginning and the end of
everything that made me me. And then it was gone. My identity, my financial
security, my hopes, my plans, my dreams, my future. Gone. I couldn’t even fight
for my share of the marital assets because I was so injured by the rejection. I
had become completely dependent on my husband, and when he withdrew his care, I
was lost.
The best word to describe my inner
world is desolate. In other words, I was barren. My earthly situation mirrored
my spiritual situation. I felt completely separated from God. I was unable to
pray, except for the anguished cry of my soul in the deep of night, pleading
with God to do what I couldn’t and bring me back to Him. And here was my
answer. Here was God’s response. Yes. I will draw you back. My earthly marriage
was permanently broken. I had unwittingly put more faith in that marriage than
I had in God. And that proved to be a devastating mistake.
When the false sense of security
was removed through divorce, I began my journey of learning to trust in God.
Think of all the things I relied on my husband for: food, clothing, shelter, transportation,
social status, purpose, meaning, identity, safety, security, and self-worth.
After the divorce, even though I was relying on God and rebuilding my
relationship with Him, my ability to trust was severely wounded. Now that I no
longer had my husband to rely on, I began relying on myself. I began
desperately searching for an identity-for my place in the world. I went to back
to school and worked several jobs. That is why I say “I began my journey of learning to trust God,” rather than, “I
started trusting God.” This has been a long, long, long road. Not only did I seek to make my own way, I kept looking
for another man to take the mantle my ex-husband threw down. With my broken
sense of neediness and misdirected trust, each man I brought into my life was
worse than the last. Each one left me more emotionally and financially depleted
than the last. Each one sent me running back to God, the only One who can truly
meet my needs, until finally, with nothing much left but a few clothes and
books, I was able to rest in knowing God loves me and will always, always,
always take care of me.
God has been drawing me back to
himself ever since that initial spiritual crisis when it seemed like the
Presence of God had left me. Like the children of Israel, I had to stop relying
on other things. For them, it was the horses of Egypt, foreign armies, their
own numbers, idols, and eventually their laws and traditions. For me, it was
another man, another college degree, another job, house, or car.
Questions for Personal
Reflection
In what areas of life have I felt
deserted, distressed, or rejected?
How have I sensed God’s
intervention in drawing me back?
Prayer
Dear Lord,
Thank you that you never leave us
nor forsake us. Thank you that you are always drawing us to yourself even when
we feel abandoned and rejected. Lord, help us to see and cooperate with the
purposes you want to work in our lives instead of going our own way. Draw us
back to you in every area of our lives. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Meditation
Sit in a comfortable place with no
distractions. Shift your body so it is well supported. Gently close your eyes
and focus on your breath, breathing in slowly and deeply and allowing your
muscles to relax as you exhale slowly and fully. Take a few more deep breaths
as you become more relaxed and focused.
Imagine yourself fully enveloped in
God’s love and protection. You might imagine a safe bubble around you, full of
light and color, surrounded by angel warriors, or perhaps sensing God’s hand shielding
you. Remember a time when you felt deserted, distressed, or rejected. You can
be watching this as if on a movie screen, with you holding the remote control
so you can pause, stop, fast forward, or rewind. As you allow the scene to unfold,
ask God to show you His healing and protection and how He is bringing restoration
to you for all the hurt this situation caused you. Ask Him if there is anything
more you still need to learn through this. When you are finished, you can release
all the pain and close the curtain on this chapter of your life. If you are not
ready to do this, just stop the scene and you can come back to it later. See
and feel the Spirit’s cleansing power wash over you and through you, cleansing
the wound and anointing it with healing balm. When you are ready, take a couple
of deep breaths, wriggle your arms and legs, and let out a big sigh, and now
you are ready to write down what you learned and what action steps, if any, you
need to take.
Action Steps
Take a few minutes to write about
your meditation experience. Is there anyone you need to forgive? Are there
areas where you need to trust God more? Are you available for God to draw you
into a deeper relationship with Him? If not, what is stopping you?
So true... pressing in to the Lord is my only fix. Thanks for a beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteThank you Deb for stopping by! We are blessed to have access to His healing balm anytime!
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